Transitioning and commuting have made things challenging. Making time for things that once were priorities, including the gym, have been challenging at best. The decisions and debates that have run through my head regarding my frustration with the limited equipment at the College’s gym have simply been an excuse. Sometimes decisions need to be made and this weekend was one of those weekends.
I spent the weekend in Victoria, BC, surrounded by friends I cannot express enough gratitude for. But the weekend did not start out so great. I made a decision, the decision itself is not important, the health impact of the decision is what is critical. It was not a light decision and one that impacted two very special people. In fact, the decision hurt one individual and will likely continue to hurt that individual for some time. As the decision maker, the pain is different. I hurt for hurting another, I worry about the impact of that pain caused, and as much as I can no longer do anything for that individual, I hope the pain passes. The pain that comes from certain decisions can have huge impacts on our lives. We may begin to dwell in the pain and give up the activities we love. We may isolate ourselves to deal with the feelings and in the meantime further distance ourselves from our social supports. Or we may take something out of our pain and pursue a hobby that will better our lives.
As I made this decision I knew the pain would eat away at me. I knew I needed to find a way to work through the feelings while being mindful of the hard work and dedication that has gone into my lifestyle shifts over the past year. And to be honest, the pain never fully hit until I dropped a friend off at her house and I was alone for the first time since the decision made three days earlier. The pain provoked another decision, hopefully one that is positively motivated versus a distraction and avoidance of my recent experience. I decided to take on a couple of activities and commit myself to a few hobbies that will hopefully assist in coping with the earlier decision I made. I have decided that no matter what gym I am at I will give each of my workouts no less than 100% and that I will be at the gym five days a week. I will also begin to train for a half-marathon. The last marathon I completed was a couple years ago and it’s time to get back at it. I will also continue to meal prep and primarily satisfy my food cravings with healthy and rich nutritional food. But more excitingly, I will begin to (re)connect with photography in a monochrome way. You can find my Adventure In Monochrome on Instagram (@adventureinmonochrome) or on Pinterest.
The point is easier written than done; simply stick with it! If you’ve made a decision, whether painful or not, you made it for a reason and do not let the various feelings of pain, guilt, shame, sadness, and so on talk you out of your decision. If you’ve committed yourself to an activity, schedule it into your day and make it a priority; there was a reason you committed to it so keep doing it. Add something fun and exciting to your life that give you moments of inspiration and happiness and when you find that something keep doing it; if it’s increased your happiness stopping it because you are now happy only means you are going to start feeling unhappy again, so do not stop! Stick with it, whatever it happens to be (unless it begins to hurt you – then reevaluate).